The Missing Focus

I think I have completely lost my ability to focus on one solitary task. I literally have to continuously be focused on more than one thing or I get freaked out that I should be doing something else. In fact while working on this post, I have already glanced at my day planner once twice and opened up facebook.

Now I am not sure whether this collapse in my single task powers has to do with the overwhelming additions in technology and social networking over the years or whether it's the fact that I have been doing school while focusing on not one, not two, but three jobs. One of which requires a lot of coordinating and scheduling. So my brain is on permanent disconnect when it comes to working or focusing on only one thing.

When I harness my multitasking powers for good – I get a lot done. But there are other times when they are just plain distracting.

Maybe being cut to just two jobs - it's sad that 48 hours a week is going to seem like a break – and no more school this summer will also help my single task skills return. Here's hoping.

And here's to dreaming of summer road trips,outdoor summer concerts, rafting, farmers markets, reading books of my own choosing and no more school!

A Simple Song

As much as I have been painstakingly counting down the days until the end of school...I've come to the point where looking back, I can't believe how quickly these 5 years have gone. I saw some old friends from high school who I haven't seen in a long time this past weekend, and I think it's those situations where the passing of time really hits you.

One of my friends, whose dance show I was going to see, I have known since preschool. It's amazing how quickly the time all goes by. I can hardly believe it has been 5 years since we sang "Seasons of Love" at my high school graduation. And in 18 days I will be done with college. In just over a month I will have been married for a year. Chris will be home, and our lives will be so completely different, it's nearly impossible to think about.

But in a good way.

Typically being eternally terrified of change, it's really great for once to be able to honestly say that I am excited for the change. Because this time it's not something to be afraid of, but something I want to embrace and leap head first into.

As I think about the finish line being in sight, I also realize that I am going to have to change the title of my blog. Because it will no longer be the last year of college and the first year of marriage. I think I may have settled on a title. One of my favorite songs by Michael Franti, "Never Too Late" has a quote in it:

"On the long road, you got a long time to sing a simple song"

That line has always stuck with me and I think it will suit the thought process behind me and this blog. It's a long road and though my meandering musings may not typically be huge in substance, their simplicity is what adds spice to my life.  Though, I know I have a few friends out there who read this, it's like a simple song I can sing to myself. 

Below is the song - and here starts a new tradition on this blog - Music Mondays. Every Monday (or at least most) - I will post a new song, be it an old song, a random song, a new song or one i just happened to run across on Pandora.
 
Enjoy.
 

Adventures in San Francisco

I am not sure whether it is possible to leave San Francisco without some sort of story to back up the trip. Though some stories tend to be funnier and more random than others. Last Saturday was not to disappoint. For a fun, no specific plans day, my good friend Stephanie and I journeyed to the City by the Bay to do a little shopping and to visit Natalie. After scoring some 80% off shoes at DSW that shocked even the clerk, we hit up Forever 21, H&M and Ross. Yes, Ross. In the shopping mecca of San Francisco, we still took the time to go to Ross. Don't judge.

After walking off a week of Easter candy and filling our tummies with the cheapest, best sushi in the Richmond district, Natalie left us to visit Green Apple on our own. (Best used bookstore ever by the way) However, we encountered a problem when super creeper man started staring and following us around. When he clearly wasn't going to stop, we knew it was time to head on out of there. A few minutes of freezing SF wind later and we thought we had made it safely to the muni stop that would take us to BART and lead us toward home.

We were huddling under a doorway waiting for the muni when this shorter man in black comes running jaywalking across Geary heading for us. He was almost skipping and had his hair pulled back into a ponytail, native American feathers hanging from the side of his head, and wait for it... his face covered in black and white paint, which we took to be some sort of skull face paint...

He comes uncomfortably close holds out his hand and says "I'm (mumbles something unintelligible)."

Steph awkwardly takes his hand and says, "I'm Stephanie."

Guy:"What are you doing?"

Steph: "We're going home."

Guy: "Well I'm celebrating my panda birthday!"   (Duh, panda birthdays, we should've known?) WHAT?

Steph: "Oh wow, your panda birthday?" - (See we were both in too much shock to come up with a witty retort after the green apple creeper encounter)

Guy: smiling crazy "Okay, bye!"

Then our new panda friend proceeds to go in at Steph for a hug and kisses her quickly on the cheek before we even knew what was happening, and then skips merrily down Geary in the opposite direction. 

It was one of those moments where you don't know what else to do but just laugh. So we laughed and  - after hand santizing both Stephanie's hands and cheek - we laughed some more.

So San Francisco, thanks as always, for the laughs and the stories - and I hope everyone else can enjoy a panda birthday once in a while. :)

Death By Easter Candy

I have to say…if there’s one season that’s the best worst for candy, it would have to be now – Easter time.  Sure, there’s the candy corn at Halloween and all of those extra candies and baked goods around Christmas time but nothing compares to Cadbury eggs and jelly beans.  They are absolute kryptonite for me.  It doesn’t help my compulsion that my co-worker at one of my jobs tends to always have those little suckers hanging around at this time of year.  Though, they have been conspicuously absent at work, thus far.  But that hasn’t stopped me from still managing to sneak an egg here, a bag of jelly beans there hidden among my other much healthier groceries.  Nor does it help that Easter candy season just happens to coincide with Girl Scout cookie season.  Or the fact that every other candy company (ahem, Sees) shapes their regular candy into cute little Easter shapes just screaming – buy me!  Good marketing on their part. 

Now, as some weeks my gym routine suffers due to the over-the-top busy schedule of this final semester, and the fact that sometimes - I just can’t do it all, so wish me luck in resisting those damn Easter treats during my shopping this afternoon.  Will power inevitably will fail.  But that’s okay.  Back on the gym going, zumba dancing, bodypump doing, softball playing wagon next week.  I needed a rest.   

And some chocolate.

Rory Crisis Subsiding

After an extremely busy weekend of graduation picture taking by one great friend, seeing my best friend after a 5 month separation, seeing my mom and taking her shopping as well as a CCYW event with another great friend and the BP 77 launch -- plus all the usual weekend busyness, I was reminded of something I recently saw someone tweet.  (I can’t remember who, so sorry for no exact credit) But they said: 

There should be 3 days in the weekend, one for having fun, one for relaxing, and one for getting stuff done.   

I have to completely agree.  And with studying for school, I’d say there should be a 4^th one for homework. :) But luckily in 32 days, all of that will be over! (And Chris will be home!)

I also think this weekend has brought me somewhat out of my Rory crisis funk.   Now, my friends who loved (still love) Gilmore Girls, will recall the episode where Rory is about to graduate college and has a complete what-am-I-going-to-do-with-my-life meltdown.  And I know many of my friends have experienced the same crisis in recent years, months, days.

You feel like graduation is hurling towards you and while you are counting down the days – see above – it is still scary to not know what you’ll be doing after you move that tassel over.  It also doesn’t help that everyone around you seems to have post grad plans for masters’ degrees, law school, and/or other great adventures.  You find yourself saying, well maybe I SHOULD go to grad school, apply to law schools, get a teaching credential, find some sort of other internship to apply for… But then you have to stop yourself and say, why the hell would I want to do that right now?? 

By the way, if I see another job posting for an unpaid internship, I might throw something through my computer.   It is such total BS that entry level jobs (particularly in the editing/writing/publishing fields) have turned into unpaid internships.  By not being a trust fund baby, I apparently don’t earn the right to get that experience.  Okay, that rant is for another blog. 

Granted, I do have more of my ducks in a row than most graduating seniors who are typically looking at the prospect of moving back in with their parents. I have an amazing husband who now is in the training stages of a really great job, many internships and other professional experiences under my belt, etc.  But even I still don’t have it all any of it figured out. 

Sure, I’d love to work for a book publisher, but is that a feasible goal?  Do I want to work with people, in marketing, write for a magazine, a website, a university, or some other random company that happens to catch my eye on craigslist? The answer is – I don’t know.  And I think I am starting to realize that that answer is okay.  It’s okay if I don’t have the perfect job right out of college.  It’s okay if I don’t have the perfect job, one year out of college.  And while money wise, I will have to make sure I do have enough work to keep us rolling along towards our financial and pre-baby bucket list goals, but if in June I’m still pretty much right where I am now, then everything will be just fine.