The First "Non-First" Day of School

Today marks the first “non-first” day of school for me in 18 years. I was so awash in my current state of life, I almost forgot about it. Last night, when I realized that Sac State was starting up again today and I didn’t have to go, I did a little happy dance, but I also thought I might feel some tinge of nostalgia. Of missing getting new books, notebooks and syllabi and seeing what was in store for the upcoming semester. (Yes I’m a dork and actually liked back-to-school shopping.)


But the nostalgia really wasn’t there. I have absolutely no desire to be sitting in class all day listening to teachers talk – half the time about subjects that I didn’t really find interesting. Perhaps it’s because I’m still too close to having graduated to miss school. And I'm sure I will miss the creative writing classes, eventually.

But maybe it’s just because I’m really happy where I am now. I really love my job and the people I work with. I love the friends I have made and grown closer to over the last year. I love and am really proud that I am finally licensed to teach zumba as of this weekend. Even though my 50 + hr work weeks plus 8-10 hours at the gym leave me exhausted and in need of multiple glasses of wine on the weekends – I really am happy. I don’t need to define myself by school or what major I am or how long until I graduate anymore. I can just be. I can be an adult, I can be a piano teacher, a zumba teacher, a writer, a “communications specialist.” I can just be me.

So as I start my longest day of the week – Work 7-330, Teaching 4-530, Body Pump/Zumba 630-8:30 – I am thankful that I will not end the day with homework, stress and anxiety. But with my favorite people at the gym and then my husband, a glass of wine and “The Big C” on TV. Happy Monday!

And for your Music Monday -- One of my fav new zumba songs from Alex’s classes:

Suavemente – Pitbull ft. Nayer and Mohombi <3

Finding a Balance

As I felt the soreness of Saturday’s workouts setting in this weekend, I started thinking about finding balance.  

Finding a balance in my life and my schedule has always been a challenge for me.  And while as I’ve gotten older I feel like I have gotten better at it…I have definitely in no way mastered it. 

A good friend of mine has taught me in the last several months to let go and have a bit more fun than I used to do. Love you Steph! I have balanced my ridiculous amount of working 2 and 3 jobs with stress busting workouts – though I tend to overdo the quantity of them at times. J  I sleep more. I read more. I eat healthier.

But I forget that sometimes you need to just BE.


It's not a concept I'm very good at. But sometimes, you need to have absolutely no plans and walk in the park.  You need to read for hours and hours until you lose track of all time.  You need to do Yoga in the park and feel the grass and listen to the birds.  You need to listen to your body  and slow down.  Sometimes, as much as you hate to, you even need to skip said high impact workouts to spend time with friends.  Because a beer or a jello shot and a laugh can brighten up the darkest of days.

J Sometimes you need to eat greasily awesome grilled cheese sandwiches from the Drewskis food truck or drink 3 glasses of wine to dim of the stress.  It's gotta be a balance.

You also need to forgive yourself forgetting to keep that balance.  You need to believe that everyday is a new day and a new start.   No matter how bad the previous day was.  You need to break fridge doors and chairs and laugh until you can’t possibly laugh anymore.  You need to make new friends and embrace change.  Writing can heal.  Sometimes the dishes can wait.  Things are never perfect. 

“Don’t let perfect become the enemy of good”

The ultimate goal will always be to find the balance. My writing is fractured and so is my balance.

But I am getting there…

Choosing My Attitude

I have this quote hanging in my cubicle at work: 

“Almost everything can be taken from a person, but for the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”     

And I have really been trying to take this sentiment to heart in recent days, weeks, months.   It’s also great to read the inspiration from Ashlee Gadd over at Where My Heart Resides whom I don't know face to face, but who always inspires and chooses joy everyday, or my childhood friend Ashley over at Ashley Appreciates. 

That’s really what it comes down to – it’s all a choice.   Sure, everything might not be perfect in any given day or week, but there are things that are wonderful!  And we get the choice to focus on those wonderful things.  We get the choice to be happy. So often we look past the positive and choose the negative.  The bad days at work.  The financial issues.  The unhappy, ugly things that make life more stressful.  We keep telling ourselves that things will only get better when______.  You fill in the blank. 

I am guilty of that sentiment all too often, but I really feel like I have been making a better effort not to have those thoughts lately, and just focusing on what is good about right now.   Sure, things will probably be easier for us financially in October.  Sure, I am still exhausted at the end of every week.  But right now, the sun is shining and I get to see some of my best friends this weekend.   Right now, I always find the energy to zumba my heart out 2 or 3 times a week, and I get to play softball at 9pm and have it still be warm outside. Right now, I absolutely enjoy my job and even more so the people who I work with.  Which make the working 50 hours per week bearable, if not many times actually enjoyable.  Right now, I have been able to read nearly 5 books in the last six weeks.   (A near miracle for me!)  Right now, Chris and I can go to happy hours - or sometimes make our own at home - and go to weeknight movies on a whim.  Some nights, I drag myself home after 12 hours of work, teaching and zumba and all I have to do is just veg out on the couch with a glass of wine and catch up on Parenthood and True Blood.   

That’s my life right now.  And I choose my attitude to be happy.  Everyday.

July promises bring trips, concerts, going to the river, friends, family and Harry Potter!!   

It’s finally summer people,  don’t let it pass you by!

A Less Than Ideal -- But Still PERFECT Christmas

I must confess, I unfortunately have a habit every single year of wanting everything about Christmas to be PERFECT. I want the decorations up when I want them up. I want to watch all of my Christmas movies, I want to bake the cookies, make the candy, see the lights, buy the perfect gifts, do everything perfectly. That's just the neurotic perfectionist in me.


But there's one thing that I have finally learned recently: Things don't always work out perfectly. Things go wrong. Things go very, very wrong. Pay cuts happen. Furloughs happen. Cars break. Kitters gets sick. Sometimes you get snowed in trying to get from one parents house to the other at Christmas. Sometimes you burn the cookies or the rum balls come out so ridiculously alcoholic that you can't eat them. Thanks Food Network for that, by the way. But as my dad has always told me, it could ALWAYS be worse. So so so much worse. It's all relevant of course...so your own problems and stresses always seem like they are the worst. But honestly, they aren't. And so I have learned this year to be thankful for the imperfect Christmas.


My decorations usually go up mid-November, and I do my own Christmas thing mid-November while everyone gives me the “you're crazy” looks. Minus my good friend Karen who is unfortunately not in the country this year for the holidays. But instead this year because of the multitude of out-of-town weekends in November, our decorations didn't go up until Thanksgiving weekend. (Like normal people) But what was nice about that is that my husband actually helped me decorate the tree. So that made doing the decorating even better!


I also confess that my love language is gifts – giving. getting, the whole lot. It's what makes me feel love and also how I show love. But mostly, I love giving them. I remember being a little kid and I would “make” little notepads out of torn up sheets of yellow paper stapled together and then wrap them up as gifts. I love finding that perfect gift. But this year, with furlough type situations at our jobs, my lack of income as I'm still finishing school, and us being I guess you'd say the “quintessential married couple just starting out” - I'm having to be a lot more creative this year than in previous years. And it's taking all self control to not go overboard on presents for family and friends like I normally do. But that's okay. I'm actually excited about the creative ideas I've come up with for some gifts. Gifts are not what Christmas is about. Love, Kindness and Family – thats what's important!!


And while I'm seriously overly caffeinated trying to get through these last weeks of school, there are so many things about this season to look forward to – as imperfect as it all may be!

• One of my closest friends is moving back to Sacramento!!  <3 you Jess!

• Chris and I will actually have pretty close to two weeks off together around the holidays.  Which hasn't happened since our wedding.  Though we will be broke, we will be together, and we will be able to visit with friends and family that we haven't been able to in a long time.

• I still look forward to my multiple Zumba classes every single week because I know I am healthier and happier than I have ever been because of them, and I have the motivation now to stay that way.  Shout out to Zumba with Alex @ 24 Hour Fitness <3

• We will be having a fun get together to go look at Christmas lights on Dec. 22!!

And so much more!!  Cookies, Candy making, Christmas movies, board games, cheap wine, eggnog and brandy, hot chocolate, ice skating (thanks to groupon) and lots of fun!


I am so thankful for the family, extended family and friends I have been given, the wonderful husband who I have found.  I don't know where I would be without him.  We keep each other strong.  I love the place where I live, my life and all of the great people I have come to know over all these years. I love you ALL and I hope you are able to look past the neuroses and stress of your Christmas plans and just enjoy the imperfection of it all. 

Now there are so many great Christmas quotes from movies and songs, but
my favorite one of all is:

“Remember, No Man Is A Failure Who Has Friends!”  - It's a Wonderful Life


Happy Holidays!!!