Death By Easter Candy

I have to say…if there’s one season that’s the best worst for candy, it would have to be now – Easter time.  Sure, there’s the candy corn at Halloween and all of those extra candies and baked goods around Christmas time but nothing compares to Cadbury eggs and jelly beans.  They are absolute kryptonite for me.  It doesn’t help my compulsion that my co-worker at one of my jobs tends to always have those little suckers hanging around at this time of year.  Though, they have been conspicuously absent at work, thus far.  But that hasn’t stopped me from still managing to sneak an egg here, a bag of jelly beans there hidden among my other much healthier groceries.  Nor does it help that Easter candy season just happens to coincide with Girl Scout cookie season.  Or the fact that every other candy company (ahem, Sees) shapes their regular candy into cute little Easter shapes just screaming – buy me!  Good marketing on their part. 

Now, as some weeks my gym routine suffers due to the over-the-top busy schedule of this final semester, and the fact that sometimes - I just can’t do it all, so wish me luck in resisting those damn Easter treats during my shopping this afternoon.  Will power inevitably will fail.  But that’s okay.  Back on the gym going, zumba dancing, bodypump doing, softball playing wagon next week.  I needed a rest.   

And some chocolate.

Rory Crisis Subsiding

After an extremely busy weekend of graduation picture taking by one great friend, seeing my best friend after a 5 month separation, seeing my mom and taking her shopping as well as a CCYW event with another great friend and the BP 77 launch -- plus all the usual weekend busyness, I was reminded of something I recently saw someone tweet.  (I can’t remember who, so sorry for no exact credit) But they said: 

There should be 3 days in the weekend, one for having fun, one for relaxing, and one for getting stuff done.   

I have to completely agree.  And with studying for school, I’d say there should be a 4^th one for homework. :) But luckily in 32 days, all of that will be over! (And Chris will be home!)

I also think this weekend has brought me somewhat out of my Rory crisis funk.   Now, my friends who loved (still love) Gilmore Girls, will recall the episode where Rory is about to graduate college and has a complete what-am-I-going-to-do-with-my-life meltdown.  And I know many of my friends have experienced the same crisis in recent years, months, days.

You feel like graduation is hurling towards you and while you are counting down the days – see above – it is still scary to not know what you’ll be doing after you move that tassel over.  It also doesn’t help that everyone around you seems to have post grad plans for masters’ degrees, law school, and/or other great adventures.  You find yourself saying, well maybe I SHOULD go to grad school, apply to law schools, get a teaching credential, find some sort of other internship to apply for… But then you have to stop yourself and say, why the hell would I want to do that right now?? 

By the way, if I see another job posting for an unpaid internship, I might throw something through my computer.   It is such total BS that entry level jobs (particularly in the editing/writing/publishing fields) have turned into unpaid internships.  By not being a trust fund baby, I apparently don’t earn the right to get that experience.  Okay, that rant is for another blog. 

Granted, I do have more of my ducks in a row than most graduating seniors who are typically looking at the prospect of moving back in with their parents. I have an amazing husband who now is in the training stages of a really great job, many internships and other professional experiences under my belt, etc.  But even I still don’t have it all any of it figured out. 

Sure, I’d love to work for a book publisher, but is that a feasible goal?  Do I want to work with people, in marketing, write for a magazine, a website, a university, or some other random company that happens to catch my eye on craigslist? The answer is – I don’t know.  And I think I am starting to realize that that answer is okay.  It’s okay if I don’t have the perfect job right out of college.  It’s okay if I don’t have the perfect job, one year out of college.  And while money wise, I will have to make sure I do have enough work to keep us rolling along towards our financial and pre-baby bucket list goals, but if in June I’m still pretty much right where I am now, then everything will be just fine. 

46 and the future

I’ll admit, as much as I try to live in the moment lately, some days it really is harder than others.  I had a nice week last week visiting with many friends and family that I haven’t seen in a long time and also added a new kitten 6member to our family.  (Post on him and our other new adopted kitty soon to come.)

But on this Monday, 46 days until Chris comes home, and 46 days until I am done with college, I am having a much easier time focusing on the future.  To having my husband back.  To being done with school. To just finally being able to start our lives for real.  To the time when I can read whatever books I want!  The list of books I want to read keeps growing longer and longer, and it is killing me to not have the time to read them. To the time when I can enjoy cooking dinner rather than sleepily throw some food in the microwave after a 12 hour day.  Having 3 jobs and finishing school while my husband is on the other side of the country is no badge of honor, and I sincerely look forward to the day when all of that is over. 

Inevitably though, getting through these 46 days is a requirement to getting to that happier point.  Because Chris getting through training and me having my degree is what will lead us to be able to fulfill our plans for the future.  

Europe in 2013, here we come.   

Pre-baby Bucket List, here we come.

Life -- here we come.

Yes, that may sound slightly over dramatic, but it’s completely how I feel right now.  But to leave you with something in-the-moment for today.  Train is quickly becoming one of my favorite artists. And I love this song!

1 Day Down, 52 To Go

So Chris headed off to Delaware for his 8 week training on Sunday. In the rainy, windy 4am darkness at the airport, we had to say a very sad goodbye for 8 long weeks. Considering we have never been apart for more than a week in the 4 1/2 years we've been together...these two months are going to be hard. But like any other hard times that have been thrown at our relationship over the years, we will get through them!  No problem.

The good news is that the 52 day countdown also signals when I will be DONE with college. Completely done! So while there will be times during these two months where I am absolutely depressed, the end product will be wonderful.

But really, to get through this time, I am going to have to do my absolute best to keep a positive outlook, or as Ashlee would say -->  Choose Joy.

So here are some joyful things right now:

- I get to see 3 friends this week that I haven't seen in a LONG time! Plus my biweekly Fin's Fish Friday date with Stephanie!

- I get to visit with a ton family this weekend in Fresno, including parents, grandpa, tons of cousins and my cousin's new 10 week old baby.

- I hopefully get my new kitten! My cousin's cat had babies, and if they are ready to go, I get to take mine home. (Hopefully him and our adopted Abby-Bunny cat will make friends.)

- It's spring break, so I am not pressed for schoolwork this week.

- My new zumba shoes come in the mail tomorrow!

- And finally, look at the ADORABLE key pendants I bought on Etsy just now for only $7! 　

Please let the joyful things make these 52 days go by at lighting speed!

To The Future

"Don't fear the long road, cause on the long road, you got a long time to sing a simple song - sing along"  - Michael Franti

Sometimes it takes getting rid of a negative force in your life to appreciate all of the supportive and positive ones. That has been what this weekend was about for me. While the negative force was lifted from my shoulders, I was able to again be reminded to appreciate some very supportive friends, my amazing family, and my wonderful husband.

And now here, at a huge precipice for my immediate family's lives, as well as my husband and I's own lives, I have complete faith that we are all going to come through it all on the other side, as stronger and much happier people.

While my family said goodbye to our childhood house this weekend...we also said hello to a new era. While we said goodbye to the vessel that housed our hundreds of memories, we also promised to keep those memories in our minds forever. My dad said as I was leaving the house, “You came in at age 10, and you're leaving with your wedding dress.” Ain't that the truth. Going into that house, I was a kid, leaving that house I am an adult. And so is my brother. So mom and dad, while that house was an important chapter, it wasn't the only chapter of our lives. You have raised two children who have grown up to learn to make their own choices and to surround themselves with only the best of people. Now onward to bigger and better things, we all four go.

And with Chris leaving for his eight week long training in Delaware next week, we too are on a precipice, but a precipice of what will surely be a great life together. And I find that now, more than ever am I secure in the absolutely ironclad strength of our love and bond.

Here's to the future!

 "The future is always beginning now."  ~Mark Strand

3 good things in the midst of the waiting game

Anyone who knows us right now, knows Chris and I have been going through a REALLY tough time waiting to see if he is going to get this new job. Sometimes the waiting game has seemed unbearable. But in the midst of it all, I have tried to think of the happy things that are squeezed in between all that stress. I have discovered that really simple things can make me happy. And three of them happened this weekend.

First – a pedicure. It may not sound like much, but something about my inner perfectionist loves having my toenails look nice and perfectly painted. And thanks to Ultimate Nails in Lohmann's Plaza's only $17 pedicures and a very full change jar, I was able to make that happen. :-)

Second – going to the gym. Now 5 years ago, back in high school, I don't think I ever would have said that. But in the last 6 months to a year, I have been very consistently going to the gym several times a week, and I think I finally realized that the gym has now become my happy place. It is my stress relief, it keeps me sane. And thanks to some very awesome 24 hour Fitness instructors (Aman, Alex, Ingrid, Cathie) and some great gym buddies I enjoy it more every time I go. Plus – spring softball season is just around the corner! Yay!

And Third – Books and a trip to Barnes and Noble. Thanks to Groupon, I had a $20 gift card, so Chris and I ventured over there for a date Saturday. I love that we both love to read. There is nothing like a new book, or especially one you've been looking forward to reading. He has this series by Patrick Rothfuss that he loves. The second book came out last week and he couldn't wait to get it. Knowing him, he'll have it finished by next week – and the book is 1000 pages! I've promised to give the series a try this summer after I am finished with school. Because he said because of my love of Harry Potter, I will probably like it. Anyway, I bought a book too, and also got this month's book club pick on my kindle. And also added several books to my list of “Books I want to read.” This list is in addition to the long list of books already on our shelves at home that I have yet to read. It's gonna be a reading summer, I tell you!

So as we continue our waiting game, I can at least look at pretty toenails, look forward to the gym Tues/Wed/Fri and we can read our new books together. :-)

Happy Monday.

Oh, The Places You'll Go!

Happy Birthday Dr. Seuss! AKA - Read Across America day!  I am so happy that we celebrate reading for children on this day.  I loved hearing about the kids at my after school program's days and how their teachers read Dr. Seuss.  We read Oh, the Places You'll Go! and we also did some coloring pages from Cat in the Hat. Thank you Dr. Seuss for continuing to help new generations of kids love to read.

Here are a few of my favorite Dr. Seuss Quotes:

"I’m afraid that some times you’ll play lonely games too. Games you can’t win ‘cause you’ll play against you."

"You’ll get mixed up, of course, as you already know. You’ll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go. So be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact and remember that Life’s a Great Balancing Act."

"I’m sorry to say so but, sadly, it’s true that Bang-ups and Hang-ups can happen to you."

"Kid, you’ll move mountains!  So…be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray or Mordecai Ale Van Allen O’Shea, you’re off to Great Places!  Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting.  So…get on your way!"

"Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple." 

"Today you are you, that is truer than true.  There is no one alive who is Youer than You."